After someone dies, their photographs often end up with whoever has room for them: a box in the loft, albums under a bed, a phone in a drawer that nobody can bring themselves to open. The question of what to do with them can feel enormous. Throw them away and you lose something that cannot be replaced. Keep everything and you inherit a weight you do not know what to do with.
The good news is that you do not have to decide anything quickly. This guide suggests a gentle order: protect first, sort later, share fairly, and keep what tells their story.
First, there is no rush
Unless a house is being cleared, photographs can wait. Many people find them too painful to look at in the first weeks or months, and that is normal. Some find comfort in them straight away. Either way, the only urgent job is to make sure nothing is lost while you are not ready.
Gather everything in one safe place
Photos are usually scattered. Before anything else, bring them together somewhere dry, cool and out of direct sunlight. Lofts, garages and damp cellars are hard on old prints.
- Albums, loose prints, frames on walls and photos tucked into books or wallets.
- Slides, negatives and old film, which may hold pictures nobody has seen for decades.
- Home videos on tapes or discs.
- Their phone, tablet and computer.
- Online accounts: photo storage services, social media and email.
Digital photos need particular care. Do not reset or recycle their phone until the photos are copied. If you cannot unlock a device or access an account, contact the company and ask about their process for families; most have one, and usually ask for a death certificate and proof of your relationship.
Scan or copy before you decide
Making digital copies takes the pressure off every other decision. Once the photos are copied, nobody has to fight over the only print, and you can share them with relatives far away. You can scan prints with a phone app, use a home scanner, or pay a scanning service for large collections. Keep copies in at least two places.
Scanning also tends to be a gentle way in. It gives your hands something to do while you look, which some people find easier than simply sitting with an album.
Sort slowly, in small sessions
Going through a lifetime of photographs in one sitting is exhausting. Try an hour at a time. Some people like to do it with a sibling or an old friend, so stories can be shared as you go. Others prefer to be alone. Stop when you need to.
A simple set of piles helps:
- Keep: photos that show who they were, important moments, and anything with handwriting on it.
- Share: photos that matter more to someone else, such as their old friends, cousins or colleagues.
- Not sure: anything you cannot decide on. Put it in a box and look again in a year.
- Let go: blurry duplicates, scenery with no people or meaning, and photos nobody can identify after asking.
There is no obligation to keep every photo. Choosing the ones that matter is not disrespectful. It is a way of making sure the important ones are actually seen.
Label them while people still remember
The single most valuable thing you can do with old photos is write down who is in them. In a generation, an unlabelled photo of a wedding becomes a picture of strangers. Ask older relatives to look through a pile with you and name the people, the places and roughly when. Write on the back of prints with a soft pencil, or add the names to the file name or description of digital copies.
These sessions often bring out stories you have never heard. Have your phone recording while you talk, if everyone is happy with that.
Sharing fairly among the family
Photographs can cause surprising tension between siblings. Digital copies solve most of it, because everyone can have every picture. For the original prints and albums, a few ideas:
- Agree before anyone takes anything that all photos will be copied first.
- Take turns choosing originals, one at a time.
- Let the person who appears in a photo, or knew the moment best, have first choice of it.
- Make a shared online folder so cousins and grandchildren can add their own photos too.
Ways to use the photos
Once things are sorted, the photos can become something the family will actually look at:
- A printed photo book of their life, one copy for each household.
- A few framed favourites in the places they would have liked.
- A memory box with prints, letters and small objects for children.
- A memorial page or a short film where everyone can see the photos and the stories together.
If looking at them hurts too much
Some people cannot look at photos of the person they have lost for a long time. That is all right. Put them away safely and come back when you are ready, or ask someone else to do the scanning for you. If the pain does not ease at all over many months, or you find you are struggling to get through the day, a grief counsellor or a bereavement support service can help.
Turning their photos into their story
If you would like the photos to be more than a folder on a computer, Everleaf can turn them, with a few memories you share, into a narrated film of their life and a lasting page in their memory. You check every word before anything is made, and you can watch a free preview first.